Not even surprised
by irishfanficgal
Summary: He really hated Austin Moon. What happens when Auslly, and Dez, go to a party? The answer, of course is obvious! Between broken bones, walking in on his brother getting a blowjob, and falling off balconies, what will happen? ONE-SHOT! Auslly, Trez.. Hellz yeah!


**Well hai there! So much has changed since my last update. I'm getting evaluated soon, and I wanna apologize to all the people who read it and was upset. Thank you to those who reviewed, telling me I'm amazing and my stories are too, I love you guys and I want you to know, I was in a really dark place when I wrote it, and I'm still there, just .. More adjusted? Yeah, that's the word. Anyways, this is so different from my normal stories! And I'm pretty sure my change is a good one for me too! So no hate, and if you have to, Don't be too insulting? Thanks, now carry on! OH! Disclaimer! I do not own Austin and Ally, all rights go to Disney channel for any character mentioned. Thank you peoples, that thing had to be done, and now it is, so yeah!**

**Dez- We worry about her, before you ask.**

**Ally- We seriously do.**

**Me- Right here.**

**Ally- Seriously we all have the theory she was thrown, not dropped, THROWN as a baby.**

**Austin- Or she ate lead paint off her crib.**

**Dez- Or she breathed in Marijuana smoke when her mother was pregnant with her, and is constantly stoned.**

**Me- Helloo! Right here, beside you! That is insulting! And HA! You are all wrong! My sister dropped me while she was walking down the stairs with me, and I landed awkwardly on the step. So IN YOUR FACE! HAHA! *Starts doing really bad victory dance* *Ally joins***

**Austin-... We worry about them both...**

He hated Austin Moon. As he sat, in the hospital waiting room, Austin nowhere in sight, he really wanted to punch him. He wanted to hate Allyson Dawson, but he couldn't. She was a girl, and a nice one at that. Damn. But if she was a guy, he'd punch her. Why wasn't she a guy? If she was a guy, he'd punch her so much. It was their fault he was even here in the first place, and not chatting up the new latino girl, Trish. A small, brief smile flutters across his lips as he thinks of the argumentive girl he'd been close to asking out before this, this fucking shit happened. He had known her cousin, Camila from kindergarden and they were pretty close. Although when he fucked up, she'd rant at him for hours in Spanish, but he'd just aggravate her more by playfully tapping her nose, which made her rant more furiously. She had made the initial introduction, and he would have to thank her for it. He in return, had introduced Camila to his cousin Ross, and she had dove right in, talking about his band. They were getting pretty close at the party, if you catch my drift. At that thought, he returned to his previous ones.

Oh, how he wanted to hate Ally. At that thought, the perky brunette bounds up to him, her side fused with Austin's as his arm is wrapped around her shoulder. "You need anything Dez?" she asks sweetly, and he shakes his head. Ally giggles as Austin kisses the side of her neck and Dez scoffs. "What's up bro?" Austin ask, bewilderment obvious in his tone. "Nothing. Just I 'm sitting here, with my broken ankle and shit, while you're screwing your girl?" Dez raises his eyebrows,and Austin and Ally blush. "It isn't as bad as you make it sound" Austin defends and Ally hits his side. "Austin it is! We are such bad people!" she hisses. Ugh, why was she so nice? Why couldn't she be like the normal bitchy blondes Austin usually lusted after? No, he had to date the nice girl, that got his badass brother/ best friend to go to school, not get arrested every other weekend. That said, Ally could be a badass when she wanted. Like at the last party they went to, a blonde slut named Cassidy started flirting with Austin. Sitting on his lap, grinding him. He had tried to protest, in Austin's defense. But Ally, she did not take it well. At All. Dez closes his eyes as he flashbacks to the following events.

**Flashback. Two weeks ago, At Dallas Centino's house.**

_The party had really goten into full swing. People were everywhere, making out, passed out, getting high. Ally was talking to Camila, and was looking around for Austin. "Hey you seen Austin" Ally asks Camilla, and she shakes her head. "Maybe Blondie got lost" she jokes, and Ally laughs. The smile, however, drops when she spots him, and, more importantly, Cassidy. She was grinding on his lap, and he looked as uncomfortable as fuck, while Dez watched, looking at him with pity when he saw Ally march towards them. "Bitch I'll give you one fucking chance to get off my man" she growls. "Haha, why would my Austy want a little dork? He's probably already bored of you, you little prude" Cassidy smirks. Camila and Dez look at each other in amusement, matching smirks on their faces, knowing that Ally was going to explode in about ten seconds. "Well at least he cares about me for myself. Guys look at you and all they see is pussy. And a tacky hair extensions" Ally says back, and a growl escapes from Cassidy's lip. "That's not what he was saying last night" Cassidy smirks. "He was with me bitch" Ally snarls, and Dez knows she is just about to pop._

_"Yeah, but who was he imagining in his head?" Cassidy asks, in a soft tone. Ally glares, but doesn't answer. "Who's name was he desperate to be moaning, who's pussy was he really wanting to fuck" she continues and then it happened. Ally lunged forward, and Cassidy was on the ground, clutching her nose that was obviously broken. She moaned out in pain, but Ally wasn't done. She grabbed her hair, and yanked out some of the cheap extensions, before punching her, repeatedly. Dez and Austin stood for a moment, Dez in amusement and Austin in a mixture of shock at her behaviour and proud that she stood up for him that much. "Never talk about MY man like that again" Ally growls, before slapping her across the face. Cassidy goes to hit back but Ally grabs her around her neck and then Austin and Dez step in. They pull Ally off, surprisingly it was difficult she was a whole lot stronger than she looked. She stood up. "Come near my man again, and I will really hurt you. Whore" she hisses, and spits on Cassidy, who's looking up at her and she nods. Ally didn't talk to Austin for a week until he apologized._

**End of flashback.**

So, he would hate Ally if she was a guy. And if she didn't love his brother, who he can hate. And who he will. But what puzzled Dez, was how Ally could move that fast in the tight dress she was wearing that night, and the thigh high black boots. _She's a girl in love, and pissed. Not a good combination" _Dez decides in his head."Dez, c'mon bro, the nurse said you're free to go. We can go back to the party?" Austin says hopefully. "You want me to go back to the place I fell out a window and broke my ankle, all because you guys couldn't keep your clothes on and LOCK THE GODDAMN DOOR?" Dez bellows. Austin nods, and Dez looks to Ally for support. "Oh c'mon it'll be fun" Ally chirps and Dez rolls his eyes. "Fine just get me the fuck out of here" he sighs and they break into identical beams. "But if you guys leave to go screw, AGAIN, I swear I'll tell mom how I broke my ankle, and how you didn't even call her" Dez threatens Austin, who pales. "We won't" Ally promises genuinely. "Let's go then" Dez smirks, and walks to the parking lot.

As he sits in the back of the car, he leans his head back onto the headrest and closes his eyes. He thinks of what led up to him being in the hospital anyway. He tries to stifle his laughs as he remembers. They are Austin and Ally, and it had been a long time since they had shocked them with how much they fucked, or where. He chuckles lowly as he flashbacks.

**Flashback- A few hours ago, Tilly Thompson's house.**

_Dez was searching for Austin and Ally to get high with him, Trish and Camila. "Austin!" he called as he walks up the stairs. No answer. He walked up to the balcony, and goes out on to it. He hears breathing, followed by "Oh fuck Ally" in a moan. His mouth falls open as his sight falls on Ally, kneeling in front of Austin, head bobbing up and down. He starts gagging as he backs away. "Eugh dude!" he yells and then he fell. Over the ledge. Off the goddamn fucking balcony. His body hits the ground, resounding in a loud thud. He grits his teeth as the pain starts shooting through his ankle and he hears Austin shout to stay where he is. "WHERE THE FUCK WOULD I GO, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED I'M FUCKING CRIPPLED RIGHT NOW!" Dez roars at him. "Sorry! We'll be right down" Austin swears. "Yeah FINISH YOUR BUSINESS LATER" he yells as he hears people approach him. "You okay Dez?" Camila asks, obviously trying not to laugh. "Oh I'm fucking peachy. And you're laughing at me" he whines. "I'm not" she says innocently, and then bursts out laughing. "Only a little" she winks, and Dez glares at her. "Yeah, glad I provided you some fucking evening entertainment. Meanwhile, I'm in fucking pain here, swear it hurts like a motherfucker" he cusses and then Austin and Ally showed up and brought him to the hospital._

**End flashback.**

"I don't even see the point of going back here. Trish is probably long gone" Dez sighs glumly, and Austin and Ally exchange a smirk. "What?!" Dez asks. "You'll see" was all he got in reply. He sighs as he gets out of the car, grabbing the crutches. He looks around, and the paarty is still going on, almost identical to what he had left. He sighs as he goes to sit down and sulk. "Dez?" Austin calls sweetly. Dez turns around, and sees Trish, flanked by Austin and Ally. "You idiot! You could have gotten hurt! Do you know how WORRIED I was?" Trish yells and Dez beams. "You were worried?" he smirks. "Well I, um, I.. WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU" she sighs angrily and Dez pulls her into a hug. Austin smiles and winks at him, and Ally comes over. "Come on babe, I wanna go home and cuddle" Austin smiles, and they entangle themselves together. "Dude, you are totally pussy-whipped" Dez calls. "Rather that than be a man-whore" was his reply. "How do they even walk like that?" Trish whispers, as they watch them walk away, sides fused as one, arms wrapped around each other, making out as they walked. "Years of practice. Wanna practice with me?" he winks and Trish smiles at him as he looks into her eyes. Yes, he hated Austin Moon, but that didn't mean that he didn't love the fucker too.

**The end!**

**So funny one-shot for once! Ecuatoriana01 Shout out for being in this! I tried to make you like you are, so I hope it worked! Anyway, PM me if any of you guys wanna be in a one-shot, or if I get enough requests, A full blown story! Speaking of stories, I'm updating all mine, and I swear I'm working as fast as I can. I promise! Hope you enjoyed it. It's different from what I normally do, but I think it's a good different am I right? Reviews are cool... Hope you like my new style! I really tried for this one!**

**Dez- Ha! So now, typing one-handed while eating Bwen and Jerry's cookie dough is "Trying"? Well that means I "tried" for my English assignment, and I "tried" for my French essay. HAHA!**

**Me- ... They didn't have to know that! Ally Dez is bullying me with his stupid GODDAMN WORDS!**

**Dez- You're a stupid goddamn word. **

**Me- .. You went there. OH YOU WENT THERE. That's it, I'm doing it.. I hope you step on a lego piece... BAREFOOT!**

**Dez- *Gasps***

**Everyone- *Gasps***

**SpongeBob- *GASPS***

**Dez-... How could you say something like that?! **

**Me- I'm sorry.. It was too far bro... I am now going to raise awareness for the seriousness of this. Guys, some people? Step on lego everyday! What can you do to stop such a horrendous action happening in your home? Go on the internet.. Become a reluse. Never leave your seat/bed unless it's to pee... It's for the benefit of the UNIVERSE man!**


End file.
